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send someone a little sass today

is it time for wine?
it must be time for wine,
i've taken off my shoes.
run away with me some days the balloon
animal guys are lazy
i love the moonlight
it makes us look young
i asked for a blowfish,
just to watch the balloon
animal guy think
you give me wings,
and not the feminine hygiene kind
may your day not feel like the DMV i love all your annoying
personality flaws
may your day look a
little askewed
if i've made you feel neglected,
i'm sorry. but i've been
obsessed with myself.
should me mingle or just be
judgmental from a distance?
no, you're not fat.
the room is just small.
congratulations on
being fabulous
the view is lovely from the top,
in case you're wondering
after myself, you're my
favorite person to talk to
normal is overrated
if i've made you feel neglected,
i'm sorry. i've been
obsessed with myself.
sorry you're sick
if you need me, i'm busy.
darling, you make
me look good.
some days hiding is
the best option
time for a mental
dance break
try to not think of rain
as the universe spitting on you
spending time with you is
even better than spending
money on shoes
want to go out and play?
practice makes less crappy sex with you is fun you're fun to do
nothing with
thanks for the orgasm
damn you're good in bed may your batteries
always be fully charged
sarcasm is a language.
learn it.
happy 4:20
it will be better next time.
if not, we'll simply
drink more wine.
when in doubt, love yourself happy 4:20 sarcasm is a language.
learn it.
dude... well done. almost. i've had better days happy 4:20
don't let the assholes
ruin your sunshine
let's blow this
popsicle stand
i like you.
you're weird like me.
for a friend like you,
i break out the good booze.
you make me laugh.
and sometimes not
even at you.
well done. i hardly
noticed the mistakes.
want to go play hookey? you're who i want to be
when i don't grow up
thanks for wearing that today,
you make me look good.
want to play hookey? couch, wine, more wine.
yes, it's been that kind of day.
i meditate. i look deeply
into my wine glass.
you deserve a nap today happy allergy season you're the kind of couple
that keeps me dating
never underestimate
the brilliance of silliness
care for a hot date?
the a/c is out.
happy allergy season it was a great date
i looked fabulous
official daydream break

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